Finally...

After 39 days, AF finally made her appearance. Gosh!!! I was starting to wonder what was going on. However something was different about her visit this time around. There was no fan fare. Just quitely knocked on my door this late morning.

NO CRAMPS

NO BACKACHE

NO PIMPLE BREAKOUT

NO MOOD SWINGS

NO SORE BOOBS

Wow!!! I am amazed. Could be due to the traditional medication I am currently taking. If it is, although it didn't result in a pregnancy as I had hoped for (the girl who sold me the medicine said that it took at least 3 months for some couple) but at least it has showed a little result. No pain in my AF. The feeling of it is amazing. Hubby is glad too. Coz if not every month on my first day I'll be cringing in pain and the week that is leading to it I will be having bad headache, backache and bad mood swings. I am gonna ensure I take the medicine on a more regular basis if it is gonna keep all that and my endometriosis in checked too. That is all the update I have for now.

To all my lovely ladies here, Stacey, Nicole, Flower, Dagny, Tammy etc pls take care. I have been reading and following just had no energy to write a post or comment. My apologies. I have been down with fever, cough and runny nose. The haze here is not helping my situation either.

Stacey, hope everything is going alright with the treatment. NIcole hope you are recovering well from the surgery. Flower, I am looking forward to your update with regards to scan.

N so it begins...

Just a short entry. AF came with a vengence today. Lower abdomen cramping all morning + afternoon. Can still feel it lingering. Need to cook food for hubby's dinner. Then I will be expecting some kids over for tuition and I will be going for another assignment at 7pm.

Back to AF. Like finally. But I was prepared. So gave my hospital a call. They found my file and she started counting. N we are lifting off... Slowly but surely. 15th of May between 11am and 4pm, we have an appointment at the clinic. Hubby will be the one giving me the shots thus he needs to be there. Informed him and he will be taking leave on that day.

I hope this will be the beautiful beginning of our journey and hopefully we will be blessed with one or maybe even two babies of our own at the end of it. I shall calm myself and just go with the flow.

Juliah: If you read this. I am starting soon. Hope to join you soon. How are you doing? By the way, once I start my journey, I guess I might have many questions for you. I will get back to you with the questions once I reach the various stages.

CD 60... FINALLY

Watch Out: TMI - Today is CD 60 for me. My goodness. That's the first in the history of my cycle. But today when I was in the toilet while getting ready for my assignments, I realise there was some wet discharge. Wipe it off and there was a tinge of redness in it. Just to be safe, I wore a pad.

But when I came back, there was still nothing. But when I peed, more blood clots. Not a heavy flow yet. But with ongoing cramping and the visible tinge of blood, I know (and hope) that full flow will come soon. Then I can give KK a call latest by Tuesday. Oh goodness. I am getting a little excited now. But still tring to keep my excitement at bay. Just in case.

Was just wondering though if I need Provera to bring about AF this month, do I need to take Provera again next month? Do I have to inform my RE about the Provera thing? How will the number of eggs be affected because of this?

You know after all that has happen, I was thinking that I don't have to have ET in the same cycle, we can do an FET too. All I care and worry about is the number of eggs that they are gonna retrieve and the quality of the eggs. The next is of course the quality of hubby's sperms and the ability of my eggs to be fertilised. OMG!!! So much worries. Time to relax and just go with the flow.

Hey Nichole, hope you will get your AF visit too. Then our cycle will really be super close. I know how it feels to be just sitting and waiting. Crossing my fingers and toes that AF will come with a vengence in the next 24 - 48 hours. That's the first for me and hopefully the last.

Update: Still no full flow, just on and off clots and bleeding when I swipe with tissue. Other than that my pad is not soaked at all... Hmmm should I wait one more day before calling KK? I guess it should be okay to just wait one more day. The cramping is still lingering thus Af should still be hanging out for a little while longer.

Come on already!!!

Other than the once off lower abdominal cramp, there was no more signs or symptoms that AF is coming to visit. As dry as can be. Damn!!! This waiting is starting to slowly kill me. Can't you just come already? Stop making me wait. I have waited an entire month in March. I am not waiting another month. This has been postponed for far too long. I have 3 more Provera pills to finish. Once I finish that, I shall wait a few more days (that was what the pharmacist said - finish the pill and my menses should come within the next few days.)

My bo.obs doesn't hurt at all. Usually they will hurt a few days or even a week before AF comes and visit. Now not even a twinge. This is getting ridiculous. As if I have not felt less of a woman the last few months. Now that I am waiting to get back on track this missing AF is making me feel even worse.

Anyone who had a laparoscopy had this problem about missing AF? According to my counter at the side, I have one more day to go till I should be testing. Hmmm... should I even bother? I roughly have an idea what the results gonna be like. Me and hubby didn't really manage to do much due to his reservist. He was kind of away during my ovulation. Now what????

Arghh!!!! This is killing me. I am supposed to have a checkup this Thursday 23rd April. A scan to check everything is okay. to make sure that the cysts are not back as well as a meeting with Dr Sad.hana. But I am really hoping that AF comes before then. It might sounds weird to some but I am ready to have myself injected...

Officially OVER

Today was it. It was OFFICIALLY OVER. What you may ask? My period that is. AF has decided to make its exit. After almost 5 or was it 6 days? Well I am just glad it left before New Year. That would have stink. Anyway, AF visit this month has been pretty quiet too. Thus there hasn't been much activity.

Then there are also things happening at my work place. I started work at my new place. Attended their staff meeting on Monday. Was introduce to their staff. They look pretty friendly. Some were very helpful with the things that I need. My new work space is also much bigger compared tp the one I had previously. For now, I am doing good I guess. I did drop by my previous school to sign some form, collect some items and return some materials. I don't miss that place but I do miss some of my colleagues there. I hope I will be able to make some close colleagues here. I am psyching myself up. I know this is for the best. Especially after I went back today. I know for sure I have made the right decision. I guess between me and my preivous work place... we are OFFICIALLY OVER now.

Being new here, I might have to start learning all over again. I will have to probably make some changes and learn new things. I used to be afraid. Today I am choosing to overcome that fear and hopefully learn as much as possible. It is not gonna be easy but I have to make this change and I am not gonna let fear get in the way. CONFIDENCE is the word for today.

Follow my heart...

The last 2 days has been pretty quiet except for the fact that (TMI ALERT): my period seems to have come and visit 5 days earlier than the expected date. I was not really expecting it to come coz firstly I was on the GnHR injection for 3 months, which was supposed to suppress my hormones and to stop my menses from coming back. This is so that to give my little ovary a break from the tedious monthly "work". But 2 days ago, as I was sitting right here in front of my computer, I feel a little wet you know where. Took a tissue, wipe it and lo and behold.

So I guess, AF do decide to drop by one last time. Well one good thing about her visit this time around is, there was no back pain, no abdominal cramps, just a little mood swing. Hey if this is how her visit is gonna be after the surgery, I guess it was worth it to go for the surgery after all.

I have been very apprehensive the last few days about my pending meeting in my new school. A little nervous about it. I mean, in my previous school, you can consider me as one of the "older" staff. Here I will be one of the newbies. Don't know how the people there will react to my present. Not sure whether the students will be able to accept me as their teacher. I mean looking at it, 2 of the classes that I am taking should have been previously taught by someone else so it might not be that easy as they might already have a particular way of learning. My heart has not been at ease. Hope it will get better after tomorrow's meeting.

Then tonight, I came across the following and it somehow manage to ease me a little.

To some extent I think I should stop second guessing myself. Just like how I chose to call KKIVF and start on my IVF treatment, I should also stop second guessing myself when it comes to work matters. I should have more faith in my capabilities and know that I will do what's best for the students.