It has been decided.

Hubby and I have made a decision that will change our day to day routine as well as our "love to travel" past time. Hubby insisted that I wrote the letter and submit it in. Especially with the amount of workload I have been getting and the amount of nonsense I had to face from students and management. I am not too sure in terms of our finances. I mean seriously, we were just making it through when both of us are working. Now with one less income... HOW???

I have been searching and finding some sources of income on my own and Alhamdulillah I have managed to have a few assignments. I am far from earning what I was used to earning but Insya Allah, with patience and perseverance, I will be able to earn as much or maybe even more but with less stress.

So yup basically that's it. It about ONE MONTH time I shall be a full time housewife. Never have I imagined that I will be a housewife. I mean maybe in the future but not so soon. I am not even 30 yet and to top it off I still do not have kids yet to look after. What if??? What if after quitting, I still do not get what I have been dreaming off then how? Will I be depressed? Will I be upset? Hmmm...

I guess I shall not be thinking too much about it. Like what one of the friends I have made here said...Just go with the flow and enjoy the procedure. At least I will have her to discuss things with.

Just a short update one what has been going on with me. I went to KK a few days ago and was given some progesterone pill that I was supposed to finish within the next 10days to induce my menses. I was also given some antibiotic to clear some bacterial injection. What the heck??? Infection? How? When? Never mine. It is good that I find out early. Once I finish the 10 progesterone pills I should be expecting Aunt Flo to come and visit. Then time to wait for my 21st day to start injection. Let's pray everything goes as plan now.

That's all from me for now. Shall update when there are things to update. By the way I am "supposedly in my 2 WW". 11 days till CD 1 again.

Results are OUT

What was I thinking? Why was I putting my hopes high only to know that it will be crushed... Here was a pic from this morning test...


Was I disappointed? Well a little bit but not so much that I was distraught. Being out sick the last few days has set me thinking. Really thinking. I want to be healthy and as much rested as I possibly can during the procedure. If I am spending so much money on it I want to know that I have put 110% in the cycle. I do not want to be waking up and saying hey I could have done better if only there was no stress. I do not want what if to be in the picture anymore. If things were to fail (touch wood), I wanna know that I have done my best to get rid of any stress factors. I just wanna be at home resting, growing my eggs and growing my embryos and not be in a classroom shouting at the top of my lungs. What if all those screaming and shouting will reduce my chances? I kind of have think things through. Just need to share this information with hubby and see what he has to say. I am hoping he understands and will give me his full support.

Okay people, I am going to wallow myself in self pity for a bit then I should be back. Someone's wedding is coming up this weekend.

My blood test have to be postpone till my period comes, I guess that should be in April now. Please come already... Please don't make me wait in vain any longer. Everything now has to be pushed forward. ER should be in late May, ET in June and so on... I am crossing my fingers and just praying for the best.

AF came as expected

Today, 10th of October 2008, as usual, AF came as expected. I was anticipating it actually. I have come to a point where I am not upset anymore. I just want to move on and get myself ready for the next cycle. Don't blame me. It has been 4 years.

With the appointment set, I am ready for Friday. My UPA leave has also been approved. Thank Allah for his blessings. Is this His way of telling me that He approves of what I am doing? I hope so. I believe everything will go well. Insya Allah. I will be back after my appointment on Friday. I will let you know of the outcome and decisions.

Today in history

After waiting for almost 2 years since our IUI procedure, I have finally made the decision on OUR behalf. I can't wait anymore. Remember my first time schedule was supposed to be in June. But because of financial constraints I decide to wait until after hari raya. Then when I found out that a fellow blogger was already pregnant from the procedure (she did twice by the way) I was just thinking isn't it very expensive to do the procedure? Doestn't it cost almost $10000 every cycle? So I decide to read again... And guess what?

E) How much does it cost to complete one cycle?

It costs about $8, 000 - $10, 000 to complete one cycle of IVF.

F) How much can I claim from Medisave?

Both husband and wife can claim up to $6000, $5000 and
$4000 from Medisave for their first, second and third cycles
respectively.

Oh... I See. I guess now I understands. Today being the 8th of October, I was actually expecting AF to come anytime soon. So I told hubby I am gonna call Dr Chen and tell her that I would be doing the IVF. When I made that phone call, I was told by the reception that Dr Chen does not do the procedure. My next step was to find out where that blogger went. But then again, it is a little far for me. So I resorted to of course the one that deem feasible... KKH.

I called their KKH IVF centre. I was greeted by this nice lady - Nora. She was wonderful. Explained what I need to know and of course clear my worries of the financial issues. If I remember correctly, I can even claim subsidy for $3000 thus not having to pay at all for the first cycle. After all that explanation... I called the appointment centre and made an appointment. Once again I guess Allah was on my side. Someone had cancelled and the earliest appointment with the female doctor of my choice is Dr Sandhana on the 17th of October. That's a weekday!!! I am working. I counted hubby is working too. But that's the earliest she have and after which she will not be available till November. Nope I am not waiting anymore. So I made the appointment even before consulting hubby. I believe he will understands and supports me on my decision.

So yes I am due for an appointment with KKH on Friday, 17th October 2008 (8th day of cycle). That will be a historical day I believe. As I was reading, I understand you can take the medicine on the 21st day of your current cycle. I want to find out whether it is possible for me to do that or do I have to wait till my next cycle before starting on my medication. No more testing, no more semen analysis. We know where our problem is, and we have spend so much on the testing with no results. So straight to the procedure PLEASE!!!. I am so excited of the possibilities... Counting down to Friday.

Wait!!! I am working! HOW??? MC or leave? Hmmm... decisions...decisions...