I Survived...

The Pregnyl trigger shot. It wasn't as painful as I thought it gonna be. There was a sting at the beginning just like the normal injection but the needle was in me for a slightly longer time. The leg was a little numb immediately after the injection. But once u walk it off it was kind of alright. That's all. Thanks to Juliah for preparing me mentally for it. It truly helps.

This was one of the first thing with regards to IVF that I am nervous about other than the number and quality of my egg follicles. SO after one final scan in the morning, with number of follicles being the same but a slight increase in the size. Currently I have a 19mm, 17.5mm, 17mm, and a 15mm. Others measurable ones are at 12.5mm, 12.5mm, 10.5mm and 9mm. They say they are probably looking at the first 3. Others not so sure. I will be very happy with whatever they can retrieved. Hopefully at least 5 are fertilised and I can transfer 2.

I am hoping the other follicles will catch up in size in the next 2 days. N hopefully they have sufficient mature eggs to fertilised. One obstacle down, another one to go on Friday (ER). I am still not sure when the ET will be but I will be very happy to have a successful ET and a healthy baby at the end of the whole procedure.

I am just gonna rest and take it easy the next few days. I will try to squeeze in an update as and when I am capable of doing so.

Till then, whoever are in the ER/ET stage or the 2WW, all teh best to all of you. May we get the positive outcome that we are looking for.

Till my next entry...

Last shot!!!

Hooray, today was a good day after all. It didnt start off good at all. First my Monday time table stinks lah. No breather at all. Then came the students' attitude. Wah I truly feel like slapping him in the face. The attitude he shows is just ridiculous. N he calls himself a student. But after recess, after I have calm myself down with some prayers taught by my mum, he actually came to me along the corridor and apologise and promise to be a good boy. Strange but okay.

This was after i shed a tear during recess quietly at my desk. Well who else can I share my "problems" with. Here I have no close friends to go to. Neither do I trust anyone much. Well... Let's not dwell on the past. As I was talking to mama today, she mentioned we must learn to be appreciative of what we have. In this case, being here, I have more free time after school and thus I am able to leave as early as 3pm and can go proceed with my treatment without having to take time off or leave or MC. Just like today.

Went to school as per normal. Then mama came to fetch me at 3pm. We made our way to KK hospital. Took a while to find a parking lot. Then the queue at the pharmacy was a nightmare. Luckily we managed to get to the clinic by 4.15pm. Waited for a bit and got Nurse Catherine to do my final Lucrin shot before I start on my IVF journey once again. This is getting so exciting. I can't wait and I have been counting down. I have also conscientiously try to not bring work home during the weekdays and to spend a little more time for myself.

With this last shot of Lucrin, I seem to be having double the dosage of symptoms: Hot Flushes, High Temperature, Mood Swings, Bloatedness, lower abdomen cramping and many more little symptoms that I feel is too small to note.

Currently during my free time (whatever I am left with after my work) I am reading the last book of the Twilight Series - Breaking Dawn.


The book kind of consist 4 in 1 book. From Bella's point of view as well as Jacob. The book is so intriguing. I regret not reading it earlier but better late than never right?

I am also into another craze - Diner Dash. I thought I was the only one playing but according to hubby some of his friends had to give up using the computer coz their wife wanted to play Diner Dash on comp. Haha... N hubby said luckily I have my own comp. It is a fun game. SO many stages and it really puts your mind in alert mode.

Okaylah enough entry for today. I am going back to relaxing mode... Till my next entry!!!

Short entry for the week

As usual busy as a bee. The day started off hectic at work. What's new right? Anyway,I rush off to KK today after work. Manage to reach the pharmacy before 4pm, got my medicine and off to Room 2 at Clinic D. The staff nurse that attended to me was very nice and friendly. She tried to chat with me while giving the injection so that I don't really feel the tinge. We talked and she asked whether I have had any symptoms taking the injection. Let me tell you...it is one damn expensive medicine ok. For a one month supply it cost me $256. On top of that the medicine will supposedly give me menopausal symptoms like hot flushes, irritability etc. How nice!!! I paid so much for something that is going to makes me feel bad???

Then she said..."You are still young so why go through IVF?" I explained about the low motility and count plus the persistent cysts in my ovaries. You see... IF doesn't only affect the older group. It can affect us, 'younger' ones too. By the way, I don't think I am getting any younger. I will 28 this year... 2 years to 30 and I do want to have my own kids before I reach the BIG 30... Well I can plan but the rest is truly in Allah's hands. I can just hope and pray for the best.

By the way, my reason for writing is to say that the symptoms is starting to take effect. I woke up from my nap feeling very hot. I was really feeling very warm. My face is all hot. N it is only the first day... Oh God please give me strength!!!

Time to sign off. Got lots of work to do. Till the weekend.

Weekends are here!!!

Finally the weekends are here. I am so looking forward to it. I have plan to sleep in on Saturday and Sunday. It has been a busy week for me. Let me update both on the personal as well as work front.

Personal
I went to see Dr Sadhana on the 6th of January. Took time off from work. She removed the stitches from my surgery area and we spoke a little about my plans for IVF. I still have 2 more injections of GnHR. She also mentioned that the menopausal syndromes is gonna be even greater than what I had experience previously. She had warned hubby about it. Hubby just laughed it off. I truly hope that everything is going to be okay. I seriously do not want to "blast off" at hubby you see. I am never good at handling PMS. SO I am going to KK Clinic D once more this coming Monday, 12th Jan for my second dosage of injection. Other than just waiting for my menses to come some where in March and calling KKIVF on my first day in April to get my blood works done coz it expires in April, there is really nothing much to talk about in this aspect. Can someone wake me up when April comes?

Work
I have been pretty busy. If you notice I have not written for a few days coz on weekdays when I come back usually I am just too tired to do anything. I will nap a bit then wake up and prepare work for the following day's lessons. That's my routine for the last week. N I believe it is not gonna change any time soon. How is my new environment you may ask? Well different but NICE change. I do miss my old colleagues though. I am more familiar with them and with some I have build a pretty strong friendship but well... I need to make changes.


It is kind of late. I have alot of markings to do, worksheets and notes to prepare so yup I gotta go now. Leaving all of you with a picture of my work desk that I have somehow decorated a little.

Sorry pictures had to be removed for safety reasons...

One more baby step

I was looking forward to this day. Looking forward to doing my blood work then I can start my IVF cycle. However, it started very badly. Hubby was working night shift yesterday. I had asked my mum to come over this morning at 7am to bring me to the hospital. However at around 10pm just before hubby went to work, I was starting to experience lower back ache. It was hurting quite a bit. Hubby got the hot and cold pack and placed it on my back. It improved a little. Sent him to the door and I was back at my favourite sofa. Lying down makes the hurt worse. Thus I sat on the floor with my hands stretched out on the coffee table. It helps lessen the pain and somehow I manage to fall asleep.

Woke up at 1.45am. Had pins and needles on my leg but my back doesnt hurt anymore. Went into my room and hope that it remains the way it is. Out of a sudden, I was woken up with a sharp pang in my lower back. Looked at the watch and it was 2.45am. WHAT!!! i have only slept for 1 hour. Oh no!!! I am sleepy and tired but the hurt was so bad. I can't sit, I can't lie down, i cant walk. I toss and turn in bed and tried to go back to sleep but the pain was just unbearables. Called hubby at his workplace. My tears just flowed when I talked to him. I can sense his concern. How he was worried that I was all alone at home and in pain. He asked me to called my mum. At first I do not want to as it is so early in the morning and I might just worry her. But at around 3.30am, the pain got so bad. Slight movement will result in me screaming in pain. It was that painful... (or perhaps my threshold of pain was just not that high)

Mama arrived 15 minutes later. I literally crawled to open the door for her. She started massaging for me. When the pain did not subside, my bro being the medic that he is, called the ambulance and I was brought to the hospital. I was in pain throughout the journey. I cant lie straight. It was the worse journey for me. Once i reached the hospital, they took my blood pressure and did nothing else. Waited and waited and waited. What the heck??? Where the hell is the doctor? After the longest 30 minutes wait, the doctor came and look at me. N I mean look. He just looked, no touching or checking and diagnosed me with muscle strain and gave me an injection of painkiller. N asked me to wait it out. You gave me a painkiller injection of course the pain subsided. N the nurse who gave me the injection, don't even let me start on her. This is the worse service I have gotten from a govt. hospital. But it was not a shocker. I have received a poor service from them before.

They asked me to do a urine test to confirm that I was not pregnant. HELLO!!! Didnt I tell you that I am currently having my menses. Whatever. Did it for the sake of doing it. Told me that I was not pregnant? WOW!!! How smart of you? Even i can tell you that. Then he send me for an x ray to check that it was not kidney stones. At around 7am, doctor came back and tell that they cant detect any kidney stones. Diagnose me with muscle sprain and gave me some muscle relaxant, painkillers and a 3 day Outpatient Sick Leaves.

Went to mama's place after that, ate some bread, took medication and sleep and waited for hubby to come back before we make our way to the next hospital where we are getting our fertility treatment. After being treated so badly at the first hospital, it was nice to have a decent treatment for once. The senior nurse who took my blood was kind enough to chat me through it knowing that I had needles and injections. How she speak to me on her past patients. I was once again positive about govt hospitals. If only all govt hospitals will provide such good service. Anyway, hubby and me had a good laugh at the payment counter. We lauged at how I had to donate blood and at the same time make payments for it and it was not a cheap one. It set us back by $140.81... Well, mama commented that if we have this baby/babies, it is gonna be one expensive baby/babies.

Alright, it has been a long entry. time to take my medication and rest. My back is starting to feel the strain. Hope you ladies had a better day today. N I saw many ladies at the Fertility Clinic today. Could one of you be one of the ladies I have made friends with here? Hmmm... I will never know will I. I am just wishing that all of us will achieve our dreams soon...

Lucrin and Subcut Puregon Injection

Since I am not down for Fertility Treatment this month, I took the opportunity to do some reading first. There are some blogs that I am currently following closely. Very nice reads they have there. I think I might have mentioned before that me and needles are never good friends. The thought of having to do blood tests and self injection makes me cringe. Starting the IVF cycle next month makes me want to find out more about the daily injections coz some have said that it can be quite painful at certain stages.

Ovarian Stimulation
Under normal circumstances, most women produce only one egg each month. The chances of pregnancy are increased if more than one egg is fertilised and replaced. To increase the number of eggs, hormone injections (hormones to cause “down-regulation”, eg Buserilin, Lucrin; then FSH hormone to increase numbers of eggs developed, eg Gonal F) are administered daily. The most commonly used regime involves daily injections of Buserelin or Lucrin, usually commencing 21 days after your period starts (called the “down-regulation” regime). This hormone is first given to control your cycle by preventing your own hormones from disturbing egg production during the programme.

Women may come to the Clinic every day for their injections, but as the needles used are very small, most women find it easier to learn how to give the injections themselves at home, or get their husbands to do it. This has the advantage that it saves you from coming to the hospital every day. After two weeks of these injections, your response is monitored by a blood test and ultrasound scan. If these show you have responded to the Buserelin or Lucrin injections and the scan shows no abnormalities, a second hormone FSH is added, called Gonal F. This is designed to stimulate the ovaries to produce many eggs. The exact dose of the Gonal F injections may be varied according to your response, but the nurse and doctors will decide and let you know of any changes.

That's not my picture by the way. Borrowed from the net. Can't show my stomach. Hubby will kill me for doing that.

Next stage once, my period arrive is the injection of puregon. I believe this is something similar to what I have injected during my IUI cycle.

Yes I hate needles but if this is the only way for me to get pregnant. So be it. I will put my fears all aside and be strong for my future (not sure when in the future) babies.