A good cry was all it takes

At 13dp3dt / 16dpo, I have no more sore boobs, no crampy feelings. The crampy feelings have been gone for a while now. I had a good cry yesterday when hubby came back from work. The moment he came back, he came straight to me and gave me a kiss on my forehead and I started tearing. When he asked me what is wrong, I just couldn't say it. But somehow a while later I did tell him. I told him how useless I felt for not being able to bear him any children and now more than ever coz I am not even working. He asked me how did I know this didn't work, could I see what is going inside? Of course I said NO, but how could he understand my inner feelings. Somehow I just have the feeling. You know the feeling where you just knew.

This morning we woke up in each other's arm. Somehow being in his arms make me feel safe yet at the same time it makes me more emotional and vulnerable. The tears just flowed. As he said, I have never failed in any exams before and this to me felt like a failure. He reminded me, school exams are different. I have a way of controlling the outcome by studying but this IVF journey, we can try our very best, do the best we can but at the end of the day, the results is determined by the one above. It makes sense but somehow it just makes me feel more sad. I asked him, what if it is just gonna be the two of us till our old age. He didn't have an answer for it. He just told me, let him do the worrying. I had a good cry and somehow he managed to kiss those tears away.

Am I ready to let this go? Not yet. Till I see the dreaded visitor or till the nurse told me the negative outcome, I am not letting this go just yet. I am just coming to terms with the possibility that this wasn't my time. Did a test this morning. Saw a faint line. The faint line is definitely visible as I do not have to tilt it to the light or squint my eyes to see it. Just that it is way lighter than the first line and the digital one told me straight in my face "Not Pregnant". There is two possibility. One is that the faint line is caused by the remainder of my Pregnyl jab or perhaps I could possibly be pregnant just that the HCG in my body is too low to be detected. I am not putting my money in the 2nd possibility. Hubby didnt even want me to put the pic of the test up coz he doesnt want to be sad everytime I see it. He said let's just wait till Wednesday or whenever the dreaded visitor decide to to stop by.

How am I feeling now? Okay I guess. What matters most is that I have my husband who loves me very much and of course my family who is willing to sacrifice everything for me. I love them and they love me too...

Just for the record, symptoms for the day:

(1) BBT still high at 37.00 degrees celsius.
(2) Woke up with a headache but it was probably bcoz of the crying
(3) Greenie lines on boobs still visible.
(4) Nips still painful to the touch but the whole boobs not sore anymore.

So that's it for now. Gonna go and get ready for my weekend. With the test out of the way, I can now just enjoy my weekend without worrying too much. If it meant to be, it will be. If not I guess I will just stand up once more and try again. But that will not be anytime soon. I need to make sure I am mentally and emotionally ready this time for any outcome.

Hope for the best, prepared for the worst.

At 12dp3dt / 15dpo, I am strating to lose all signs of early pregnancy. Am I losing that glimmer of hope? Maybe. I just had an outburst after talking to hubby on the phone. Didnt even mention anything about the upcoming results. We just chatted and talked about why he hadn't called the whole day. I wasn't upset with him or anything. I don't know. It is just that just before we hang up, I just felt so sad. LIke I have not done enough for him. LIke I am not good enough. Like he deserves better.

You know how much he had to sacrifice to allow me to be a Stay AT Home Wife and if this fails, what's next? What do I have to look forward to? Am I ready for it to fail? NO. But have I prepared for the worst? Probably. Will I be upset if the results is not in my favour? Definitely. Will I be able to stand back up? I am not sure.

Sorry people... I am feeling really down today. I am just not feeling it anymore. Call it "Mother's Instinct" but I just don't feel it.

11dp3dt / 14dpo

Wow it has been a while since I came here to write. I have been reading and commenting but when it come to writing to my own post I am not sure what to write. It has been waiting/analysing and more waiting and more analysing. The last few days have been okay I guess. The tuition assignment I am having is keeping me sane. Whenever I teach, time seems to pass faster. If not, I will have barely much to do. I will just rest on the sofa and watch tv. When I lie down on the sofa, I tend to fall asleep. That's the "symptom" I have been having. LETHARGY. I have been super tired. I need to put my head on the pillow for less than 5 minutes and I will be fast asleep. This is me not working. Can you imagine if I was working full time? I really salute those of you who are going through this treatment and still working at the same time.

By the way, I had taken my last Pregnyl Jab on Wednesday. According to the nurse at my clinic I can test about 4 days after my last jab and the results will be fairly accurate. That is what I have been thinking about. Should I test or not? Half of me wants to badly find out... but there is another half that is really nervous, scared and reluctant. N what ifs start to creep back in my mind. I would like to believe whatever I am currently feeling/seeing is because I am Pregnant. But why at this current moment I dont feel pregnant. I want to be pregnant. SOmehow I am positive that this has worked and I am pregnant but...

Well I guess I just have to wait till Wednesday, that's when I am having my blood test (16dp3dt). I have to HPT in my drawer which I had secretly purchased without hubby's knowledge. I have 2 tuition assignments tomorrow, and Sunday I will be attending 2 wedding invites, then my In Laws are taking us out for a dinner treat. Yeah!!!. Hope time will fly by then. Usually the weekends will pass a little slower but hopefully with the things happening this weekend it be a weekday before I know it.

To my friend, Juliah, Thanks for being there to ease my worries. You have been a great friend. N thank you for keeping me in your prayers and wishing for my success. I am also praying for a positive outcome. May your brother heal well from his surgery. Will keep u updated via sms okay if I decide to do any HPT before BT. Hopefully AF doesnt decide to come before my BT. I am just hoping AF who has never been late in my entire life will decide not to come for the the next 10 months.

Symptoms:

(1) Still slightly sore boobs
(2) Very sensitive and painful nipples
(3) Greenie veins running across my boobs
(4) On and off cramping ( once or twice in a day) - Hope that is bcoz of my babies growing in there.
(5) LETHARGY. Ridiculously tired. Napping of at 2 - 3 hours in the afternoon. - Like now I am already yawning away when I had just woken up from a 4 hours nap in the evening.
(6) Consistently high temperature in the last few days ( bet 36.82 - 37.22). Hope that's a good sign.

That's all from me for now. Next entry will probably be on Monday when I have decided to do a HPT. If not it will be on Wednesday... Till then, pls keep me in your prayers so that I continue to remain sane in this very trying times.

Leaving it all up to Him now.

I have been reading/googling quite a bit due to my free time. Free time is not good especially not during 2WW. I have been reading quite a bit on early pregnancy symptoms but being on Pregnyl jabs, these signs and symptoms cannot be taken as real signs till at least 4 days after my last jab.

Today should be the first day of implantation. I have been feeling on and off crampings alternately from left to right. I would like to believe they are implantation bleeding. This time I knew I have embryos in me that can be potential children of mine unline all the past months/years when I wasnt even sure. The only thing that I am not sure of is whether the embryos have implanted themselves. I would like to believe so. I have done most of the dos and don'ts. N some thing I read today also make me fee very relieve and believe whatever is meant to happen will happen. It now depends to the ONE above... The drs have done their best, the nurses have done their best, so have I and hubby. Now whether it is gonna bear us a positive results or otherwise belongs to Him alone. With God's willing, I will get what I have been dreaming of... Let me copy for all of you part of the article I have read:

It's safe to travel 2-3 days after the transfer.

If you are unsure whether or not to do something, take the "path of least regret". Ask yourself - if I don't get pregnant, will I blame myself for doing this ? And if the answer is yes, don't do it ! - good point.

You may have some vaginal spotting or bleeding prior to your blood test. However, you must have the blood test done, even if you think your period has started. There are no symptoms or signs which will be able to tell you whether or not you are pregnant.

Many doctors used to advise "strict bed rest" after an embryo transfer. However, remember that your physical activity does not affect your chances of getting pregnant. Resting when you are well can be very emotionally taxing, and we encourage patients to lead as normal a life as possible. Many patients are worried that if they cough or sneeze , the embryo will "fall out". However, remember that this is physically impossible, and that if the embryo is going to implant, it will, no matter how much you exert physically. Remember that God has designed the human body with enough sense, that coughing and sneezing will not cause the embryos to "fall out". The uterine cavity is a "potential space", and once the embryos are placed here, they appose to the uterine wall and are not affect by gravitational forces. I remind patients that it's fine for them to do whatever normal couples would do after having sex - after all, how does it matter to the embryo that it arrives in the uterine cavity in the normal course of events, after the couple had sex, or after spending 2 days in the IVF laboratory and then being transferred into the cavity with a catheter ?

All those points in bold truly makes sense to me. I guess you just need someone to point it out to you before you actually believe it for yourself. ANyway I got this article from here http://www.drmalpani.com/book/chapter25c.html. Go ahead and read it if you want and take it with a pinch of salt ok...

Time for me to go and rest now... The crampings are coming on and of. Feeling a little tired too. Another progesterone injections tomorrow. Expecting the symptoms to be intensified due to the injections. Cant wait for last injection on Wednesday... Then whatever symptoms I fee will truly be from my pregnancy...

5dp3dt / I am driving myself crazy

5dp3dt / 8dpo. All these "fake" symptoms due to the medication (Pregnyl jabs) and all these waiting is truly driving me crazy. Not only have I been analysing all the little twitches and twinges, I am starting to analyse every word used by the nurses too... Hahaha... Pls pass by more quickly... Wake me up when July comes... I know, I know. The last time I wrote I said wake me up when June comes now I would like to change my mind...

The last 3 days was gd coz sis was accompanying me and she managed to make time pass faster somehow. Now that she is not around, I am a little more lonely. 5 days down, 11 more day to the blood test.

The symptoms I have been having since the day of my ET is here on and off basis. My lower abdominal cramp kinds of disappears today (or so I thought). As I was eating lunch and drinking, suddenly I had a sudden cramping in my lower abdomen. I had to stand and walk it off a bit before it went away. Since today is day 5 past ET, I would like to believe it is the first day, both my embryos have found a suitable place in the uterus and starting to implant themselves. See... I am thinking positively and visualizing a positive outcome. Hope it will bears me a positive outcome. Pls Pls Pls...

SYmptoms for today:
Boobs is still slightly sore to the touch, very very very tired, pins and needles in my legs, funny feeling in my mouth when I ate my favourite fried chicken yesterday and slight lower abdominal cramping that is on and off...

2dp3dt / Blastocyst

2dp3dt or 5dpo. According to my previous entry, my embryo is now a blastocyst. Tomorrow they should be hatching out of their shell and starting the implantation process. However today, when I went to the toilet and wipe, I notice pink spottings. Is that blood coz my uterus was iritated from the ET or was that implantation bleeding but isnt 2dp3dt too early for implantation? Well I am just praying for the best.

Today the whole day I did not feel any cramping feeling till in the cab when I started to quietly whisper to my embryos, " Pls show me a sign u are still in there doing what you are supposed to be doing." I know I sound crazy and I know it is too early for the embryos to understand me but seriously after spoke to it, I started to feel a little tingling pull/feeling in my lower abdomen. I would like to believe that that was a sign for me. At this moment, I take any sign I can get. I know I am making myself crazy from looking for symptoms but since this is my first time doing the IVF procedure and this is the closest I have been to getting myself pregnant, I am a little nervous, a little excited and lots of worry.

I have been talking it easy the last few days. Today a friend from JC came with her kid and looking at her baby, I just forgot about not supposed to carry heavy stuff. I was sitting on the chair and just hold the baby for less than 5 minutes. I hope that will not have any effect. Seriously the baby is really really cute. Look like a japanese baby. Well I am praying for one or perhaps two of my own. I am just praying everything goes well for me.

This 2WW is starting to get to me. I am just hoping time will past faster or at least I get to know the future. Both of which I know wont happen. Anyway, having my sister over is a really a blessing. We have so much time talking - that is when I am not sleeping/resting.

Symptoms for today:
(1) Boobs still sore. Nips are painful and very sensitive to the touch.
(2) Lethargy is ridiculous. I slept while waiting for my sister to arrive. Slept while waiting for both of my tuition kids to arrive. Was out for less than 2 hours and I was begging to go back. Slept again.
(3) Pinkish spotting when I wipe on the tissue.
(4) Lower abdominal cramping - just a little compare to yesterday.

So that is it for now. I will update again soon. I have a little plan for tomorrow with sis and hubby. Nothing much. Just going out for a walk to get some fresh air and to get some blood circulation.

1dp3dt / Green with Envy

I have always wanted to be able to write that down. Now I can. I was talking to hubby today after more than 24 hours of bed rest about how my butt is cramping from all that rest. Other than going to get my food and to the toilet, I have been sitting and lying down on the sofa with the tv as my companion.

I was telling hubby how I am green with envy with people who can go through pregnancy the normal way. I mean.. seriously after making love during their ovulation period, next day onwards, do you see them being careful etc? They go about their normal activity. SOme that got pregnant during their honeymoon even went hiking, mountain climbing, skiing etc yet at the end of the month, they find that they are pregnant. So why is there a difference for us who went through fertility treatment?

Hubby told me that I could always go about all the normal activity but... will I ever regret any of my actions at the end of this whole journey after spending all that money as well as going through all the pain emotionally and physically? Hearing that I decide of course I want to make sure I do my very best to ensure a healthy pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby at the end of the whole journey.

As usual when I do not have anything to watch on TV, I was seeking advice from Dr Google. N I found the following information base on a 3 day transfer:

1dpt ..embryo is growing and developing into a morula
2dpt... Embryo is now a blastocyst
3dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
4dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
5dpt.. Implantation begins,as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
6dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
7dpt.. Morula is completely inmplanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
8dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret HCG in the blood
9dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
10dpt...More HCG is produced as fetus develops
11dpt...HCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT

Base on the information above, my 8 cells embryo would have continued to grow into a morula. Insya Allah (God's willing).

Symptoms (this is just for my own documentation):
(1) lower abdominal cramping on my left hand side
(2) constant need to pee (much higher frequency than usual)
(3) higher body temperature
(4) lethargy - just need to put my head on a pillow and less than 5 minutes I will be in dreamland)

ET went well

Today was the day I have been so worried about thus far. I was so worried that I could not sleep the night before. Ny thought was just one - did my eggs managed to be fertilised.

I got ready at 0515, bathe, prayed and at 0630, I went out to fetch hubby. Throughout the journey my heart was pumping very hard. Not to forget that my bladder is also full. We reached the clinic bright an early at 0715 when the clinic is not even open. Since I cant have breakfast we just waited in front of the clinic. When we entered the clinic at 0730, there were already many people. MAny like us should be going in for a transfer too. Met with the nurse at 0830, she said our transfer could be in half an hours time. SO we waited and waited and waited. We only went on at 0945. Till this point we still do not know how our embryo is doing and whether we do have any to be transferred.

At 0945 our name was called in and I was asked to change and my legs were put on the a stirrup and we waited for the doctor. She greated us with her smile and she went in to checked on our embryo. Then she came in. I was waiting for the worse/inevitable. I had prepared myself. LIke hubby said...All we need is one. "One is a miracle, two is a bonus."

We waited and she said....., "Your embryo is looking very good. They are of very good quality, Grade 4. You have a very high chance. Now go back and rest" Looking at the picture given, one of the embryo is looking perfect with its uniform 8 cell, the other one is a little cluttered, cells a bit difficult to distinct. BUt I am not gonna worry too much now. I am gonna do my very best hoping that both of them will continue to grow healthily.

Hearing that me and hubby held each others hands and we were looking forward to the possibility. BUt I am keeping my excitement at a minimum level. Until I get to bring home my healthy baby/babies, I will never stop worrying. For now I am just basking in this new found knowledge that I have brought my embryos home. Hope they will find a comfortable place and snuggle in tightly for the next 9 months.

The not so good news though I dont have any for freezing. This is it. But I am positively confident about my chances. The little thing called "Hope" is sneaking its way back into my life.

I am currently given Pregnyl jabs. I have to take 4 dosage of that every 3 days. This Saturday I will be doing a blood test to check my progesterone level whether it is sufficient or not. Then next blood/pregnancy test will be on the 1st of July. I have come so far and I am a few more steps to realising my dream. After that step, I will have many more steps to go...

Till then I would like to believe I am PUPO. For those who are not familiar with the term it means... I would consider myself Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise.

Expect the next few entries from me to be my documentation of the symptoms I am having coz this is the closest I have been to being pregnant.

It has been decided.

Hubby and I have made a decision that will change our day to day routine as well as our "love to travel" past time. Hubby insisted that I wrote the letter and submit it in. Especially with the amount of workload I have been getting and the amount of nonsense I had to face from students and management. I am not too sure in terms of our finances. I mean seriously, we were just making it through when both of us are working. Now with one less income... HOW???

I have been searching and finding some sources of income on my own and Alhamdulillah I have managed to have a few assignments. I am far from earning what I was used to earning but Insya Allah, with patience and perseverance, I will be able to earn as much or maybe even more but with less stress.

So yup basically that's it. It about ONE MONTH time I shall be a full time housewife. Never have I imagined that I will be a housewife. I mean maybe in the future but not so soon. I am not even 30 yet and to top it off I still do not have kids yet to look after. What if??? What if after quitting, I still do not get what I have been dreaming off then how? Will I be depressed? Will I be upset? Hmmm...

I guess I shall not be thinking too much about it. Like what one of the friends I have made here said...Just go with the flow and enjoy the procedure. At least I will have her to discuss things with.

Just a short update one what has been going on with me. I went to KK a few days ago and was given some progesterone pill that I was supposed to finish within the next 10days to induce my menses. I was also given some antibiotic to clear some bacterial injection. What the heck??? Infection? How? When? Never mine. It is good that I find out early. Once I finish the 10 progesterone pills I should be expecting Aunt Flo to come and visit. Then time to wait for my 21st day to start injection. Let's pray everything goes as plan now.

That's all from me for now. Shall update when there are things to update. By the way I am "supposedly in my 2 WW". 11 days till CD 1 again.

14dpo

It is 14dpo. Unlike previous months, and the months before my surgery, there isn't any painful cramps, bad backaches whatsoever. It has been pretty quiet. Too quiet for comfort sometimes.

Went out for lunch with hubby just now. On our way back, we stopped by a pharmacy and purchased the following...


So there you have it. I have 2 tests in hand but I am not testing yet. I mean let see what tomorrow brings. Hubby was excited at the possibility but I told him not to put too much hope. I am not confident at all. He said what ever the result is, we still have each other. That's the most important.

This weekend a major family event is taking place. I am worried. All the what ifs that has been going on in my head for the past 5 years is going to come through starting from this weekend. Am I worried? YES!!! Things are looking bleak for us and for them it is the starting point. It will give my sister-in-law another reason to criticise us or to be more precise ME. Yes I have never been pregnant and might not be able to give my husband the child he/we so much desire. But I love hubby very deeply. N I know no one will be able to love him the way I do. I believe that is more than enough. Like what he said children are a bonus. Well, I guess we just have to wait and see what God has in plan for us.

Waiting one more day... Will see how the wait goes.

1 more day...

My 2WW is coming to an end. It is my 13dpo. Was wondering whether I should test at all. I mean I was not that hopeful about this cycle since it was the first after my surgery. Let's wait till I am truly late then I will decide on my next course of action.

I mean there are no signficant symptoms. My boobs are not at all swollen. Just a little cramping in my lower abdomen, sometimes on the left sometimes on the right and the persistent headache which is causing me to feel really lethargic. Other than that nothing much. I am still hopeful though. Still wishing for a miracle to happen. One more day...

Whatever the result is whether positive or negative, I will let you guys know, that's a promise.

On another note, hubby just received an sms from his good friend. Another poly friend of his, whose wife just gave birth on Monday has been hit by the worse news ever. Their baby who was born healthy and normal, just passed away at about 7pm tonight. May the baby's soul rest in peace. May the parents find peace and tranquility in God's challenge and obstacle. May Allah bless them all.

Waiting Game Again

I have been playing the waiting for as long as I could remember. Before I was married, I was waiting for the right man to come along to sweep me off my feet. This is after many failed relationships that have left me all bruised. After waiting and waiting, finally hubby came by and turn my life around. He was there for me for every single event that mattered - like my graduation after getting my degree, my 2nd graduation after my post graduate diploma, my grand dad's passing away, my ups and downs at work and many more. He has always been there for me. Thank you Hubby...

I knew I was going to marry this man but that was not after 3 years later. The 3 years of waiting till we become one can be rather lonely at times but I survived. After marriage, we started thinking about starting our own family. We wanted 4 kids. But how was I supposed to know that 1 will take this long to come along. Months turns to years and we are still waiting. Every month I waited for AF to be late but times and times again she arrived without prior warning. After almost 4 years 2 months and 2 weeks, I am still waiting.

I am currently in my 2 Week Wait. This could be possibly the last unmedicated 2 Week Wait. If things does not go the way we wanted, we will start the medicated cycle. probably by the middle of next month. It is exciting at the same time scary. There are far too many things on my mind. There are so many "what ifs" going on in my head. I am excited yet I do not want to put too high an expectation that will in the end crush me if things don't go my way.

Okay so what has been going on the last few days? Hmmm... nothing much really. According to my counter, it is 10 days till testing. Not as if I will get the chance to test at all. In the last 4 years, never once did I need to test. AF comes on schedule. But whatever the outcome is, i will share with everyone here in 10 days time.

TMI ALERT: But since the operation, while on Lucrin injections, I realised my 'u know where' has been very dry. As dry as a desert. It could hurt sometimes when hubby and I becam intimate but after my last shot and my last missed period which was supposed to be on hubby's birthday, my 'u know where' has been pretty "watered". The last few days starting from the day of my supposed Ovulation Day, I have been getting this little twinges in my lower abdomen. The twinges is more apparent near my surgical area. I am trying not to think too much about it but hey who knows...I have pretty lethargic too. Everytime I lie on the sofa, my eyes will close shut and I will be napping for an hour or two. I know, I know I am scrutinising over every little detail but I will put my hands on anything that will tell me that I am PUPO.

I shall end my entry now. Will be back soon enough with another entry with regards to my meeting with a dear online friend. Till then, I shall go and try do something so that time will past more quickly.

Swept me off my feet

Where have I been the last few days? Well on the fertility side nothing much really. My ovulation day come and go without me fretting over it. I mean I was reminded to have either abstinence or safe sex to prevent any accidental pregnancy just before the surgery. Well total abstinence was out of the question of course... So yes there were some actions but we were careful. VERY CAREFUL!!! So no 2WW this months. There will not be any 2 WW for another 2-3 months. I am making sure I am truly well before we actively try again. This doesn't me that we are not gonna try. We might start once my wound heals but we are not trying actively, no medication, no injection. All naturale... Then if still nothing, when April comes, we will start our IVF cycle.

So what have I planned for this holiday? Well since I am moving to a new work environment, I will be busy preparing work materials. There are just far too many files and boxes in my store right now. Need to sought them out before I go for surgery.

By the way, since my IVF cycle is postponed, me and hubby bringing my parents and sister to Hong Kong/Disneyland next week. Yup I will be going for a short holiday. My family has been everything for me. They have always been there for me when I needed them so this is sort of my gift to them.

Since last week, I have been swept of my feet a couple of times. Not by any person in particular. People who knows me will know that I LOVE READING. But due to busy schedule that has slowed down tremendously. Last week, my sister has introduced me to 2 wonderful writers: Susan Elizabeth Phillips and Jodi Picoult.The first book by Susan that I read is called "Kiss An Angel".

It blew me away. The story is funny, sensual and at times makes you feel the same way as the characters in her books. YOu might laugh with them and cry with them. Went out with a good friend of mine and bought 2 more books of hers. That isnt satisfying enough. So I bought a few more ONLINE!!! Bless whoever created online shopping. Hehehe... Hubby might freaked out when my packages start arriving from 3rd December onwards...

Currently reading the above.

Well, I love reading books by a certain author I won't be satisfied until I have read every one of their books. So yes, I am going to occupy my holidays doing the things I love doing. Travelling and Reading.

CD 22 - 6 more days

What do you do when you are sick and tired and bored at home? Create a new layout. It is a good way to pass your two week wait. How do you like my new layout? Nice? Hehehe... Well I think it is. The pastel colour is really very soothing to the eyes. The dark brown floral designs at the side are outstanding and eye catching. What about the banner? Look at all the baby photos... Aren't they just the cutest thing ever? I wish someday I will be able to have one or two or maybe even three to call my own. Insya Allah.

Since I was still on leave and resting at home, and I am currently on my 2nd part of my 2WW, I have created another 2 sites using a different account that I might be introducing to this site at a later time. Now I am just basically creating and adjusting the layout first. The purpose and entries of the other 2 sites will of course be different from this one.

Now a little update on me and my 2WW. By the way, the 3rd week of my cycle is pretty challenging. Something I have not usually faced. Sitting on the floor, cross legged for more than an hour will hurt my back terribly. The last 2 days since I fell sick, my right side om tummy hurts, the crampy kind of feeling (but isn't it too early for PMS). Then it started swapping, from right to left and now back to the right. I have been peeing rather often too. Fatigue is unbelievable. I tried not to look too much into the symptoms but I guess you just cant help it (even though you know that the chances are as low as less than 1 %)

Dr Google say that it is common. There has been cases of woman who have had PMS for as long as 1 week before the arrival of the actual AF. But there are also cases whereby woman who has these symptoms are known to be pregnant later. So which category am I in? I hope to be in the latter group but then again... as my previous entry has said it... Hope seems very far away this month.

But don't worry. My spirit is still high. I am looking forward to AF visit. Bcoz with her visit I can officially begin my IVF journey.