Believe me when I say...

Friends, please believe me when I say that I am truly very happy and excited for all of you if you were to receive the BFP. I am but please don't rub it in my face. I will be very glad if you share the news with me. It makes me feel as if I am important enough in your life that you want to share such a news with me.

"Farhan, I am very happy for you. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy. I pray that everything will go as plan and may you have a smooth pregnancy and have a bouncing baby boy/girl in 9 months time. The following entry is NOT about you ok

My weekend was almost perfect. That is until I receive THE news. I was told that my bestfriend who was married to my hubby's besfriend who was married a year later than us is expecting their second child. Hmmmm... If that wasn't bad enough. I was reminded that I still had nothing when my best friend is already going to have 2. Not that I do not want any. I just can't have them yet. I wish the situation is different. I wish .... Well what is the point of wishing if you know it is not going to come true.

According to my count down ticker counter, I am supposed to be getting my period tomorrow. This will be my 2nd menses that I am gonna miss due to hormones suppression. I am sure not missing visits from AF just yet. I wish I am not receiving AF visit due to pregnancy and not because of hormones suppression but well... we just have to wait for a bit more. 83 more days to be exact!!! That seems like a long way to go. Well I truly hope that with my busy schedule at work time will pass by more quickly. I am gonna take a week at a time.

How do I show that I am truly happy when there is a part of me that do feel jealous that they are having what I have dreamt of for a very long time. 4 years 4 months to be exact. I do want to feel all they symptoms. I take the symptoms all in my stride if only I could be pregnant and have a baby/babies of my own. I am not getting any younger and my house has been rather empty and quiet for a very long time. Hubby and I are enjoying our twosome together but the stretch is getting too much to handle. I want to lose sleep looking after our babies, I want to gain weight from the pregnancy. But for now, I shall just be contented with what I have... Great friends, wonderful family and a loving, caring and understanding husband. To all my friends, I can definitely use the following...
Please strengthen me, bless me and encourage me. I am in need of it. I am currently at my lowest low. I guess it is the hormones doing the talking. I hope I will be better when weekend comes.Please don't get me wrong. Emotionally I am okay. Just a little off balance I guess. I am happy but being happy doesn't mean everything is alright/perfect. The following banner summarise everything about how I am feeling.