Biggest worry has come true

Sorry for not writing for a while now. Been a little busy with assignments and finding a new job. Trying to find something totally different to do. More in the line of counselling which I majored in Uni. Been a month since I sent in my resumes but till now no call or reply. Getting a little worried. Once end of October comes, I will have no more assignments as students will be taking a break from school thus none will be going for tuition. No assignment means no income. So I have exactly 2 months to get myself an interview. I guess I need to be a little more aggressive in my job search.

But that is not my biggest worry. If you have been reading my site in the past month, my worry is what if my brother in law's wife who were married in end March 2009 will be pregnant first before me. N true enough, God do want to test us more specifically ME. Yesterday, I learnt from my mother in law that she is currently 18 weeks pregnant. She got pregnant immediately after the wedding. In fact she didnt even realise she was pregnant coz she was kind of bleeding/spotting throughout the four months. *SIGH*

SO yeah, that's my life story for now. 5 years into my wedding and I still have nothing to show for. N she is into her 5th month anniversary and she is 18 weeks pregnant. OUCH! What a stab in the heart. So I will once again go and lie in a corner and mourn my life AGAIN! Nothing much to report on the TTC front. This Friday - 4th of Sept is my 5th wedding anniversary and what an irony that will also be the day I am expecting AF to come. I am hoping and praying for a miracle but deep down inside I just don't feel it anymore. The closest I got to getting pregnant was my last failed IVF. So will see about the rest. About 1 month plus to my next fresh cycle. So looking forward to being injected again. Can you hear my sarcasm?