I Survived...

The Pregnyl trigger shot. It wasn't as painful as I thought it gonna be. There was a sting at the beginning just like the normal injection but the needle was in me for a slightly longer time. The leg was a little numb immediately after the injection. But once u walk it off it was kind of alright. That's all. Thanks to Juliah for preparing me mentally for it. It truly helps.

This was one of the first thing with regards to IVF that I am nervous about other than the number and quality of my egg follicles. SO after one final scan in the morning, with number of follicles being the same but a slight increase in the size. Currently I have a 19mm, 17.5mm, 17mm, and a 15mm. Others measurable ones are at 12.5mm, 12.5mm, 10.5mm and 9mm. They say they are probably looking at the first 3. Others not so sure. I will be very happy with whatever they can retrieved. Hopefully at least 5 are fertilised and I can transfer 2.

I am hoping the other follicles will catch up in size in the next 2 days. N hopefully they have sufficient mature eggs to fertilised. One obstacle down, another one to go on Friday (ER). I am still not sure when the ET will be but I will be very happy to have a successful ET and a healthy baby at the end of the whole procedure.

I am just gonna rest and take it easy the next few days. I will try to squeeze in an update as and when I am capable of doing so.

Till then, whoever are in the ER/ET stage or the 2WW, all teh best to all of you. May we get the positive outcome that we are looking for.

Till my next entry...

Day 11 of Puregon

Gosh!!! It has been 11 days of Puregon. Not liking it very much.

Lethargy. CHECKED. CHECKED. CHECKED

Bruises on tummy. CHECKED

Lower Abdominal Cramping. CHECKED

Bloatedness. CHECKED

Slight Fever. 37.6. CHECKED

Mood Swing. CHECKED

I am ready to be off Puregon soon and I am ready to have my ER/ET in the nearest possible date. Well... Maybe you can ask me again once I have had my ER and then I will tell you whether I am liking it or not.

I am just feeling very tired at the moment. Hubby was off to work in the morning. Woke up, got him some breakfast and once he left I went back to sleep and woke up like 3 hours later. Wow!!! My whole body just feels so tired at the moment.

Hubby is on morning shift again tomorrow. Told him not to take leave. It is just gonna be another scan. Got mum to accompany me though. Having either hubby or mum around for my treatment makes me feel really secure and comfortable. I am hoping and praying for the best outcome tomorrow.

Gonna go and get some afternoon nap since students are taking a break from lessons due to holidays. I am just gonna enjoy whatever free time I am having now. I have always been right when I listen to my body and this time around my body says I need a rest. SO rest I would do... Till my next update.. which should be tomorrow.

2nd Follicles Scan

Today was my 2nd follicles scan. There are some good and some not so good news. Let us start off with the good news first. I have 2 additional follicles. 15 so far but 8 are still too small and the dr dont think that they will catch up so they are concentrating on the 7 (well better than nothing right).

Left - 19, 17.5, 16
Right - 15, 14, 13, 10.5

Now back to the not so good news. Dr also feel that my cyst seem to have come back. The cyst measures 2.5 x 3.7. Definitely much smaller than the one I had previously and only one compared to 3 the last time. BUT to me a cyst is still a cyst. The cyst has caused me much pain in the past. Recently during my stimulation stage I start having the backache I used to have before I had my surgery. So I guess that answers my question on why I am having my backache again.

So yup, I have been given another box of Puregon and will be going back to the clinic on Wednesday for my third follicle scan. Dr said tentatively ER will be on Friday. It all depends on what happen in the next 2 days. Pls follicles grow a little bit more for mummy...

If ER is on Friday that means I will have my Pregnyl Injection on Wednesday night. Any advice? I heard the injection kind of stings very badly. You know me... I hate needles. Currently my tummy looks like a map of god knows what... Bruises, green and black.

Okay people that is my update for now. Currently very tired and sleepy. Shall go and nap first. Nadia, I will answer your email once I wake up okay... Now a little groggy from the lack of sleep.

A month into the process

I know many ladies out there are almost an expert in the IVF procedure. They have gone through many rounds of treatment unlike me. It will be 4 more days before I reach 28 days since I started IVF. 28 days = 1 month. This is nothing compared to the 5 years I have let it passed without any BFP. Yup no BFP. Not even once. I have never known how it feels like to be pregnant. I have never known how it is like to feel the symptoms. I will not promise that I won't complain once the symptoms comes but I will definitely embrace all of the good and the bad that comes with a pregnancy.

I have been lucky coz I have a great support system who has selflessly share their procedure and process with me so that I could roughly gauge what to expect. I am also lucky I have great online friends who I can cry on if I was faced with many mroe hurdles. They are always ready with a virtual hug and words of encouragement and advice which I truly appreciate. Some of them are becoming more of a friend to me than any of my real friends are. Reason - I am sharing the most intimate details of my life with you, my online friends rather than my real friends. How do I tell a fertile friend what I am going through. How to explain the reason I am not with kids yet is not because I love my life of a twosome?

Believe me I have tried explaining. Instead of getting a hug or a pat on the shoulder (which is usually what I need) I will get some smart a$#@ advice - why don't u just relax?, maybe if try a variety of positions (like we haven't), why do you want kids, I would do anything to exchange places with you (wait till you are really in my position and see what you have to say). Some people have the nerves...

Anyway, like many of my counterparts in this journey, I have a plan in hand. I have an idea on how many times I am gonna try. This process despite help from government can be very expensive. Not only that, it can also affect your relationship with hubby. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Sometimes you are up, sometimes you are at your lowest low.

Let me share anothe secrets with you my friend. I have been to a psychiatrist to help me deal with my depression. Yes, I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED!!! I had problems sleeping, crying out of the blue for no apparent reason, getting angry at hubby most of the time (blaming will never solve the issues at hand). DId it affect my marriage? Thank God NO!!!. Like many of you, I am blessed to be married to the most understanding guy I can ever asked for. He was supportive. There was a time when he got angry but NEVER at me. It was at himself. For not being able to give me what I want most in life. At that point of time, I realised I need help. I have to help myself before I self destruct. SO I dragged my feet to Buangkok Green and set an appointment with a psychiatrist. He helped me overcome all my underlying issues, gave me medication to help me with my lack of sleep and depression. N 6 months later here I am... a more cheerful and positive person inside and out. I have been discharged from the psychiatrist clinic since then.

I believe that was one of my better decisions in life. To seek help for myself. To say that I am an expert in this process, I am far from it but if there are any of you out there who requires information or a shoulder to cry on, believe me when I say I am here for you. If I can't answer your questions, I will pass it on to my lovely online 'sisters' and I am sure there will be someone who can give you the information you need.

I will be going for another follies check tomorrow. Let's hope the follies have grown significantly from the last scan. I have been good in taking my chicken essence and folic acid. I will update everyone once I get back.

Follies Checked

Today hubby and I was due for a dr's appointment at 0800. However, due to a late night, watching Federar came back from behind to win his semi finals match, we missed our alarm clock and was almost late for our appointment. Today was the day I was supposed to get my follies checked. Checked I did.

The dr said there was about 13 eggs. However only 5 are of measurable size - 18, 15, 13, 12 and 8. The other 8 are too small for them to measure for now. I was hoping I will have more eggs that I can use and freeze for future use. Dr did mention that usually people will either decide to abort the cycle or still continue. After much discussion, hubby and me decided that we are just gonna continue and try and leave the rest to fate. I have been asked to continue with 200 units of Puregon for 2 more days. I will come in again on Monday to check on the follicles size and decide when the egg pick up will be.

I am a little sad with the outcome of the egg size. I was hoping for better results. Dr said that I could be a poor responder to the medication. If I am a poor responder why didnt they increase my dosage. Well I guess they know what they are doing.

Well that is my update for now. By the way today, I was given a different kind of Puregon. The injection doesnt use the normal pen. It uses the normal syringe. N the medicine kinds of stings a little more than usual... Like a wound area getting chillied. Well I just hope my eggs will keep growing and growing. Will update again when I feel like up to it.

Birthday Post....

Nothing much for me to write for now. I am just wishing that after 5 years, my birthday wish will come true. I will update with regards to my follies check scan and my dr appointment when I get back later in the day.



I wish this is the year I will start a new with new addition. I am praying and wishing extra hard this year.

Pre Birthday Entry

This is the pre birthday entry as promised. Hahaha... I will be turning 28 tomorrow. It has been a good life so far except for some very minor glitches. First of all I would like to metion all the good things that has happened in my life then perhaps the little glitches/obstacles I have faced.

I am thankful for giving me a wonderful family who is caring and concern about my well being, who has provided me with a good life and education which I can now use to provide for my own family. In terms of relationship, I have had my fair shares of heart break. After which I met hubby when I was in my first year un Uni. We dated, had our ups and downs and here we are 5 years later, happily married.

Both of us love kids and had wanted our own kid right away but I guess God has other plans for us. After 2 years of trying and no results we decide to take a break from TTC and go travelling. We travelled to many parts of the world - Turkey, Korea, Hong Kong etc and we learned more about each other and became much closer to each other and God. N now in the year that I turn 28... we are ready to try again and hopefully by the time I celebrate my 29th birthday I will have kid/kids in tow.

Oh yes... n below are my younger days photos as promised. Please don't laugh. I was born slightly premature. Then I grew and become chubbier. Heheh...

Taken when I was 3 years old
Taken when I was two
Taken when I was 6 months old
Taken when I was 3 months old
Taken when I was 2 months old

2 more days...

It is 2 more days till I go back to the clinic for a follies check. Hope everything is growing well in there. I will be praying that I do not have to extent my Puregon injection much longer than necessary coz that jab kinds of stings. So far on the symptom side, the dizziness comes as and when they like, there is an after taste in my mouth, I can't stand strong smell (especially the smell of some people in public transport - goodness gracious don't they bathe), my "ladies" are slightly sore, lower cramping is more obvious with alternating sides, and my lower abdomen is also kind of hard (like I have not been to the toilet for long) and the lethargy is getting more and more ridiculous. Oh dont forget about the lower backache. The backache is similar to those that I usually get just before my Ovulation day. SO that is my update of the symptoms I am having so far.

Puregon injection does hurt anymore after the first 3 days. Neither do the injection site bleeds. Just that I notice there are very tiny red "mosquito" bite where I do the injection.

2 more days will also be my 28th birthday. What a nice present this will be if I were to get a BFP. Well I can dream right? N hopefully from a dream will become a reality.

I will be writing an entry in conjunction with my birthday and perhaps include a pic or two of me when I was a little baby... Hehehe...

8 X 8 All About Me

I got Tagged!

The Rules:
Mentioned who tagged you: Flower over at (http://flower1908.blogspot.com/)

Complete the list of 8’s
Tag 8 people

8 THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:

(1) Getting a BFP on my 1st IVF cycle (current cycle) :)
(2) Starting my FET if this cycle is a bust and getting a BFP
(3) Being a Stay At Home Mum
(4) Going on a vacation to our dream place (Switzerland)
(5) Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary on 4th September
(6) Getting closer to God
(7) Finding peace with Infertility
(8) Suuporting my parents till their old age

8 THINGS I DID YESTERDAY

(1) WOke up in the morning
(2) Did my laundry
(3) Took my jabs
(4) Prepared for my tuition assignments
(5) Checked my FB account
(6) Go to the market
(7) Wished my dad, "Happy Birthday"
(8) Talked to my mum

8 THINGS I WISH I COULD DO

(1) Become pregnant on my 1st IVF Cycle
(2) Have a healthy pregnancy
(3) Have a healthy baby/babies
(4) Provide a better home for my parents
(5) Find peace
(6) Stop being angry
(7) Travel the world with my husband

8 SHOWS I WATCH

(1) America's Next Top Model
(2) Survivor
(3) The price is right
(4) Ellen Degeneres
(5) CSI Miami/New York
(6) Bones
(7) Criminal Minds
(8) Leverage

8 FAVORITE FRUITS

(1) Grapes
(2) Watermelon
(3) Mango
(4) Honeydew
(5) Dragon fruit
(6) Apple
(7) Durian

8 PLACES I’D LIKE TO TRAVEL

(1) Hawaii
(2) Switzerland
(3) Greece
(4) France
(5) Rome
(6) Japan
(7) South Africa
(8) Niagara Falls in US

8 PLACES I’VE LIVED

(1) Ang Mo Kio (Singapore)
(2) Tampines (Singapore)
(3) Hougang (Singapore)
(4) Simei (Singapore)
(5) Punggol (Singapore)
(6) -
(7) -
(8) -

8 FOLKS I’M TAGGING

Hmmm.... Anyone who is in their 2WW and would like to past their time, could you please do this for me... Thanks.

Not Liking It

2 days of Puregon and so far I am not liking it. 2 days in a row, my injection site was bleeding. Other than that, when I press on the area, it feels as if there is a teeny bite size mark. My tummy started cramping today. Not anywhere near my Pre AF cramp. This was just little twinges as I was walking. Tummy is bloated and hard. I am also peeing and drinking alot. Lethargy? Don't even let me start about it. I am so tired. Can't even keep my eyes open in a 30 minutes bus ride. Sitting cross legged on the floor far too long will cause my back to ache.

If symptoms means, the medication are doing what they are supposed to be doing then good. If you ask me now, Suprefact injection was child play compared to Puregon. I will choose Suprefact to Puregon any day. But well... we have to move on sooner or later. I am just glad Allah is on my side and is currently moving me along as I had prayed and hoped for.

I am still keeping myself update with all of your daily updates but don't expect much from me okay. Any free time I get, I think I will try to squeeze in some nap time to help reduce my lethargy. Once I have more symptoms to "complain" about, I will write in.

I thank Allah for His blessings and for guiding me this far. Thank you to the nurses who has been very nice and sweet with regards to my procedure. Answering my question and helping me as and when I need them. Thank you to my parents for being so supportive of what we are doing and always being concern about my health and well being. Thank you also to my darling hubby for being there to do my injections, for being there to be at the end of my ranting and 'scolding'. To everyone else in the Blogsphere, who has been kind and generous with their advices, THANK YOU. I truly appreciate it.