Sunday, December 24, 2006

A year has passed...

A year has past since I last wrote here. Actually I didnt want to make a come back till there was any news but I feel that it is high time that I started keeping track of the things that is happening to me and to us. It's been a year since we first started the fertility treatment. Hubby has been on medication every month. So have I. I have also had many x-rays to detect if there was any problems with me. So far everything was fine. For me that is. Thank God.

But things was not so easy for hubby. His test showed that he has a low sperm count and most of his motile sperms are not moving fast enough. Were we disappointed? Yes slightly... but never once did we gave up. Never once did we blame each other for the things that happen or didn't happen to us. We continued with the treatment for a year, stopping for a few months when the cash flow was a bit tight and when we were tired of not getting the desired outcome.

However after much discusssion, in December, hubby and me started treatment again. He is on medication to help improve his sperm count and I am on Clomid to help me increase my chances of ovulation. Perhaps more than one egg can be released during the ovulation. Anyway, we are doing it the natural way this month. Dr was worried my ovulation might fall during the holidays. We might start the first round of IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination) in January. This is tentative though. Depends on when is my Sec 4 camp. Because after calculating, my next ovulation might fall during the time when I am having my camp. So how? I'm not sure. I have a promise to keep. If this goes through I might not be there for my students during their most crucial time.

Ya Allah please help me. Please make my choice easier... Till then, to the rest of you readers out there, please pray for me ok.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

More misery this festive season

I am back!!! Why so late you ask? Nope no good news yet... If there is it wouldn't have been a miserable festive season. Well AF decided to knock on the door on my best friend's wedding-18th Dec 2005. So I told hubby I am going to the gynae even if he is not. I called the recommended gynae and booked an appointment. At first hubby wanted to follow but then because of work I had to go alone. I was scared and worried but to cut it short the appointment was not as scary as i thought it would be.

To fast forward the timing- 7th January I went for my second appointment. Results are out. Alhamdulillah everything was fine. But then she turned to hubby... I would like to keep the details of the results private. Well let's just say "the soldiers" needed a little push.
My spirits was still high coz i know we might be one of those who might take a little longer to conceive and have a baby of our own. But high spirits took a dive yesterday. My best friend who got married on the 18th Dec, she sms me yesterday to inform me that she is currently expecting. WAT!!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong. I was happy for her. But at the same time I am green with envy. How else do you expect me to react? Here I am one year plus into my wedding and still no results. And as for her it's only a month and she is bearing the fruits of her labour.

Maybe it's true that it is not my turn yet.. But when? Hubby tried to cheer me up yesterday but it was no help. i thought what he did was to make it worse. He said,"If you do conceive this month, can you imagine, your delivery date might be very close to each other." Stop giving me the IFs... What IF it does not happen? Then what? I don't think I am ready for another disappointment. At least not for now. It is really tiring you know. I can actually picture myself in her shoes. If I was able to.... my kid would be turning 7 months now... Yes I wish but no... It is not gonna happen. Not so soon I believe.