I survived!!!

Well, today was my appointment at KK for 2 consecutive days. After the phone call from the nurse saying that my E2 and uterine lining is sufficiently suppressed. I have currently moved to my next step - STIMULATION. I was alone today. Usually either hubby or mum will accompany me for any of my appointment but since it is just to collect my jabs I told hubby not to waste his leave. So yup I survived going for the appointment on my own.

I arrived at the clinic at around 0845. Boy was the clinic packed!!! I just walked up to the counter, told her that I have been asked to collect my second round of jabs, given the medication slip, went to the pharmacy to purchased/collect the medication. Today's medication cost $833++ but thanks to Medisave and Co Funding by the government, I didnt have to pay a cent. Thank God. N from here on, all scan and procedures will be taken from my CPF (Medisave)and I don't have to come out with any cash.

I was given the following
I will be taking 200 units of Puregon for the next 7 days together with 20 units of Suprefact. My next appointment will be on my 28th birthday (6th June 2009) for a scan to check on my follicles. After which the nurse said that my ER/ET can be anytime the following week. OMG!!!!

Juliah you are so right... Things are moving pretty fast once you have started and I am getting more and more nervous. Things are getting unfamiliar from here on. I am not sure what to expect. What are the signs and symptoms of OHSS? When do you start taking food that contains high in protein? now or after retrieval?

Today at the clinic was my first Puregon jab. SInce hubby was not around, I was trained by the nurse to do the jab. The funny part is I thought she was gonna do it for me but guess what? She gave me the instruction, tell me what to do but I had to do it in front of her with her supervision. She said, if I don't try myself how am I gonna teach my husband to do it for me. Hehehe... Yeah so for the first time I poked myself with the needle. hahaha... Not too bad but given a choice, I would never do it again. That's what the hubby is for. This is one of the ways for him to get involve in this IVF thing. Not just providing the swimmers.

Talking about swimmers, hubby was getting a little nervous. He has always been uncomfortable preparing the specimen in a bottle what more if it has to be done in the clinic so today I asked the nurse whether it was possible for hubby to produce the specimen at home. Thank God she said okay as long as we get the specimen to the clinic within 90 minutes on the day of teh retrieval. Ahhh.... Hubby will give a sigh of relief once he hears this news.

Okay that's all the update from me for today. I will be back once I have more things to say. If not, my next update will be next Saturday after my scan to check my follicles. To everyone, have a great weekend ahead.

14th day of Suprefact (Updated Again)

Just a short entry. Tomorrow will be my 14th day of injecting Suprefact. So far so good. Except for the fact that I am ridiculously tired in the afternoon, I am symptom free. I will be having my next appointment tomorrow at 8am. I will be having my baseline check as well as my E2 blood test check. I hope everything goes well and I can proceed with the next step of my journey. I will update again once I come back from my appointment tomorrow.

Update:
Just got back from my baseline and E2 bloodcheck. I am not sure what the Dr was talking about when she was doing the scan. Left 3, right 5. Huh??? What is 3 and what is 5? Never mind. I was there at the clinic at 8am, and we were out of there by 8.45am. Not too shabby. That was a very good service despite their being alot of couples there. Some were waiting for blood test, others were waiting for scanning and some are due for retrieval.

After the scan I was told by the nurse to go back first and they will call me later in the evening with my bloodtest result. I am to continue with the Suprefact injection till just before retrieval.

That is all for now. Will update my blood test result once I get the call and the next step in my journey.

Updated Again
I finally got the call while I was at my tuition assignment. The nurse who called me said that my lining and E2 level is sufficiently suppressed. N the Dr wants me to start the 2nd jab tomorrow. So yes... I am moving to the Stimulation Stage now. I am super excited and worried at the same time. So yes, I have been asked to go down to the clinic before 11am tomorrow to collect my second round of jabs. Future scans will be informed tomorrow.

10 days and counting

Today is the 10th day I am on Supre.fact injection. As I was reading others blogs I realise that not many or none really have any symptoms while on hormones suppression. So today I decided to ask Dr Goo.gle for some answers. N this was what he came up with. I understand that this is teh period of time when the injection is supposed to suppress my hormones ( I believe it is the Estrogen Level).

At this current moment based on my current symptoms, the injections are doing what they are supposed to be doing and my estrogen level is suppressed. Based on Dr Goo.gle, the following are symptoms of low level of estrogen:

Sign and Symptoms of Low Estrogen Levels:

Rapid pulse rate
Bloating (Checked)
Fatigue that worsens during the day (Checked)
Constant fatigue, lethargy and fatigue on light exertion. (Checked)
Short-term memory failure
Poor Memory
Hot flashes (Checked)
Joint pain, swelling and stiffness (on my fingers -Checked)
Decreased Sex Drive (A little - I am not so sure coz currently having AF)
Depression
Headaches (Checked)
Osteoarthritis
Low Back Pain
Dry skin
Vaginal Dryness
Recent unexplained weight gain

So that explains my constant lethargy and laziness to get my ass of the couch. Yes some of you might think that I am just making up excuses for being lazy but truly I can't keep my eyes open especially in the late afternoon (like now).

Bro is discharge. Thank goodness. He is currently home thus I don't have to travel to and fro the hospital anymore. 4 more days of injection then I will be going in for my estrogen level check. Let's hope this time it will be it. I am praying this will be the silver lining we are looking for. I am hoping that God will pay off our patience all this while. Will update again once I have had my appointment this coming Friday. Till then have a good week ahead.

To Tammy and Mark ~ You are in my prayers throughout this difficult time. Stay strong despite all the challenges presented to you. May things get easier for you in the near future.

On Schedule

I am just glad everything is on schedule. I was about to give my nurse a call on Monday if my Af still was not here. But today, as schedule it arrived with a full vengence. So far I am right on track. N I am half way through with the suprefact injection. I have been ridiculously tired the last few days. I wonder how I will be when I am doing other shot. We'll see how it goes.

Last few days have been really tiring for me not because of my treatment but because I have been travelling to and fro from the hospital. My bro met with an accident with a van on his way back from work. Physically he looks fine with just minor scratches. Or so we thought. Yesterday at about 5pm, mum called me to say that bro had to go in for an emergency operation. After an ultrasound, they found that one of his testes is crushed. No way of saving it. (People who knows me in person, please do not mention this to anyone coz I do not want my bro to be anymore traumatize as it is.)

After the op yesterday, the surgeon mention to my mum that this was one of the worse case he had ever seen. He tried to save whatever remaining that is good. Now it depends on my bro's will power. Whatever that has been saved, will either remain good or the cells might just die off. If it dies off, then he will have to go in for another surgery. We are all praying for the best. Dr said that at the moment, he won't have problem having kids in future coz all he need is just one but Dr is not sure the condition of what remains. The whole family is behind him at the moment, providing him with all the support he needs. He is still feeling down but he is showing signs of improvement.

Till my next entry... Have a good weekend everyone.

9 more days to go

Things have been pretty quiet here. Nothing much to report. I have however been getting constant crampings, you know the kind where you know AF is around the corner. But for me the cramping has been happening since I started the injection but till now no sign of AF yet.

I am kind of concern though, is it usual not to have AF during this first round of injections? Well, I shall wait it out a few more days. If it is still not here, I shall call the nurse and find out about this. I have been pretty tired too the last few days. I hate dragging my feet out of bed in the morning. I will sleep in till about 9. Have breakfast. Check my mail, facebook, twitter, play a little online games etc then I usually fall asleep again on the sofa. Sometimes up to a stretch of 2 - 3 hours. Gosh...I am turning into a lazy bum. Luckily I am no longer working or I will forsee my MC rates to go up drastically. But I am still glad I have the tuition assignments to keep me sane/busy.

At least with the assignments, I get to go out and travel to my kids place and when they come over, I get to make use of my brain cells and teach them the things that I love most - MATHS!!!!

Back to the injection, after the first day of injections, the rest of the days are much easier. Hubby is becoming a pro at it. It hurts/stings badly on the 3rd day. I have always like to lie down when hubby gives me the injection coz I will be at my most relax position. But on the 3rd day, hubby decides that it would be easier if I stand so I listened and it stings bad. I started tearing. Hubby was so worried he said from now on, we just do it your way. Man - Why can't they just stick to the way that has always worked? Why do they need to just "test the waters"? 4th and 5th day went witout a hitch.

Other than the usual tiredness sinking in, my bo.obs are kind of sore (probably bcoz AF is around the corner) and my desire to be intimate with hubby has kind of dwindle a little due to me being tired. Common??? NO??? Well, hubby has been very nice aboout all this but before he starts complaining, I better get it on. Hehehe...

Okay people, will catch up with all of you again soon. To all ladies who has been coming by to drop a comment or two. THANKS so much. I do visit your sites too but sometimes, I am just at a lost for words on what to say. My mum always advice me "It is best we keep quiet and just pray for the person in silent if we don't have anything nice/right to say."

I have been in this journey for almost 4 years and I roughly know what are the kind of things that people may say (whether intentionally or unintentionally) that can throw me off the cliff. Sometimes I usually have to write and rewrite my comments a few times before I send it just to make sure I have phrase my words in the way that I know if I was at the receiving end I won't be hurt.

Time for my afternoon nap. Hubby is snoring awya at my sofa... Need to find a new 'port' now.

1 down 13 more to go

Today I set up the alarm clock to go off bright and early. When it rang, I was like still lazing around. Turned around but hubby was not there. Saw the toilet lights on. Called out to him. As he was settling whatever business he was doing, I walked in my sleepy mode to the dining room table to grab my medication and syringe.



Walked back into the room and hubby was all set. He teased me by saying, "Okay I am ready to see you do your injection." Yeah right, I hate injection on its own and not you want me to do it myself? Hahah funny.

I have requested hubby to do all my injections for me. Well, i believe I haven't mention it yet but hubby is a medic in the army so poking people with needles, putting IV drips for people are a normal daily activity for him. BUt today somehow he looks nervous. His hand was a little trembling. Hmmm... That is so unlikely of him. It took him a while to get the medication in the syringe and to remove any air bubble in it. I was lying on bed, pinching my layer of fats and turning away from him, waiting for him to poke me anytime. I asked why it was taking him so long and he said, he don't like hurting me even if it was supposedly for our own good.

In a minute, I can feel the prick and the 5 seconds he counted seems to take longer. It stings a little after that, the area turned red like it has been bitten by mosquito but other than that I am okay.

So here I am one day in the preparation stage. So far so good.

KK Appointment

Went for my appointment at the hospital today. I was kind of excited coz finally I am dooing something rather than just wait and see like what I have been doing in the last 4 months. Me and hubby left house at noon, took the cab and arrive at around 1.30pm. Registered at the counter, purchase the medicine from the pharmacy. Talking about medicine, I thought that all of my procedure is paid for using the government subsidy plus my Medisave. Well I guess not. The subsidies will only start once I start Puregon. Thats's a saving of about $9000 on my part. Well I guess that truly helps.

Anyway, remember I mentioned that I will be taking lucrin injection. Well that was not meant to be. Coz according to the nurse, they have ran out of the medication world wide. WOW!!! So they change my medication to Supre.fact and I will be taking 50units of it till 29th of May when I will be going for a scan to check my baseline and my E2 level.

Hope everything goes well. My first injection starts tomorrow. OMG!! That is alot of needles that I was given. I have never seen so much needles in my life before. At least not at any one time...

Hubby was also very happy with what the nurse had to say. She said during this injection, we should be expecting AF to come as well as we are now allowed to have sex once again. N you should see the smile on hubby's face. That sinister smile with a hidden agenda on it. Hahaha...

That's my update for the time being. Wishing the 14 days will pass without any hitch and hopefully everything will go my way from now onwards. I see you all again in 14 days time.

Back earlier than expected

Hey I am back. Earlier than expected. Been spending some time on my own, reading and praying and getting close to my creator. IT is amazing what some quiet moment can do for you. I was sitting by the sea side the other day, looking at a group of kids playing in the sand. I was like thinking, "if only one of that kid is mine". I am not asking for many just one. Then I look out to the vast ocean, and see how God has His reasons for doing the things He does. Have you ever wondered, why is the sea blue?

Well I am just rambling here. Just wanted to write that I have been kind of sick the last few days. Have been coughing like a mad dog, sneezing non stop and running a slight temperature. Been taking my medication regularly. Hopefully I am going to get well before I start my treatment.

Did I mention how much my bo.obs hurt? IT was super painful to the touch. N the nips get super sharp and sensitive everytime the hub try to touch. His hands got snubbed by me many many times... Hahaha... Hands like octopus. Serves him right. N I cannot hold my bladder very long too.

OKay time for me to take my medication and go to bed... See you all around.

Somehow I have a feeling that AF could be round the corner.

Just Passing By

I know I am not supposed to be here but I have a little teeny weeny question which I try to Goo.gle but to no avail.

Question is: Will taking Pro.vera change my cycle since I use it to induce my menses? Will this affect how my eggs are 'grown' and how many can be stimulated and 'collected'?

Anyone who has any idea, your answers will be very useful to me.

Where is He in all this?

I have been questioning myself on this for a very long time. Since I first learnt about our infertility issues. I love kids, so does hubby. So why are we not blessed to have kids on our own yet there are others (teenagers included) who cant afford kids and can never bring up their kids properly have kid or in some cases kids. Instead of owning up to the mistakes, they make even more mistakes. Sometimes their mistakes cost the life of the little ones. The question that keep popping up in my head is - Where was God in all this?

I have been blog hopping and from the many sites I have visited, I realised that many women out there are getting closer to God in times of difficulty/challenging. As for me, I am trying to get close but at times I am just so angry. Angry for being tested the way that I was. Many people have said that God tested those that he loves. If He doesn't love you, he would have just left you alone. In that case, I would have rather been left alone. Or is that just my angry self talking.

Yes I still pray 5 times a day as required by my religion. However I still feel empty. I don't seem to be any connection. I limit my conversation with Him. Reason? Well I have been trying to communicate to Him how much we wanted a kid of our own. Not only have He not answered my prayers, He has tested me over and over again.

As my IVF journey is drawing closer and closer, I would like my conversation with Him to be more meaningful and I would like to be closer to Him. Thus I would like to take a short hiatus - just a week or so. To calm myself, to be in sync with everything around me and to be closer to God. I will be back in exactly a week when I will start my lucrin injections. Hopefully by then, I will get the answers that I have been seeking.

To all you nice bloggers out there who are currently in your 2 week wait, my prayers are with you and may you receive the BFP you have been seeking.

Readers of my blog, do check back on me in exactly a weeks time. Will be back with an entry. Till then... Have a great weekend...